“Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind” (Romans 12:2 TEV).
The way we act is determined by the way we feel. The way we feel is determined by the way we think. If we want to change the way we act, we've got to change the way we think. If we want to change a habitual pattern of improper anger management—pouting, blowing up, criticizing, etc.—then we need to have some mental reconditioning.
Gary Smalley suggests you begin asking yourself questions like, “Do I enjoy getting angry?” “Does it produce the intended results when I get angry?” “Could I get the same results in a more effective way?” “How would I be different?”
Smalley suggests you write it down and read it aloud to yourself once a week for six months, that’s 26 times. Take the time to read it in the presence of another person. That may seem like a lot of work, but how serious are you about changing this habit in your life? How serious are you about getting control of your anger?
I’d suggest using Bible verses in your letter, so that as God’s Word fills your thoughts, you're transformed by the renewing of your mind. It's going to change you.
The truth is, angry people are insecure people. The more insecure I am, the more things tick me off. The more insecure I am, the more upset I get and the more irritable I am.
But here’s the thing: when you understand how much God loves you and you understand your security in Christ, when you understand how much you matter to God, then you are less likely to be irritable.
Homework: Read Ephesians 1 and Romans 8. They are anti-anger biblical passages because they teach us how deeply God loves us, and that we are secure in him.