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Posted by Rick Warren

“A friend means well even when he hurts you” (Proverbs 27:6 GN).

Jesus shows us that real friends care enough to confront. Even when it's painful, they'll tell you the truth (Proverbs 27:6 GN). They won’t let you waste your life in silence. 

I’ve found that correcting another is powerful—and it can be dangerous.  Done the right way, it builds people up, but done the wrong way, it can scar a person for life. 

The difference between the right and the wrong way to correct is your attitude.  If all you're doing is pointing out faults, then stop. The purpose has to be to correct, not to condemn.

You need to ask, "What's my motive in this?  Am I correcting him for my benefit or for his benefit?"

A lot of times we want to correct people just because they're being jerks and they're hassling us.  We think, "If they would stop being such a jerk, my life would be easier."

That's the wrong motive. 

Instead, follow Ephesians 4:15, which says, "Speak the truth in love."  Love means giving people what they need rather than what they deserve. 

So this is the key to proper correction:  Affirm the person; then correct the behavior.

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